There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
