thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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