Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
