eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
