Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
