my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
