I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
