They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize