I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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