Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
