I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Sober January is a disaster.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
So apparently I’m into choking now
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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