very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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