note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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