god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
