i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
