"it" just moved
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
