I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
