Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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