I must be too annoying 4 u.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
