My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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