I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
