So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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