I'm eating all of the evidence.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
