She's JV to your varsity
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
