We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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