I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
