i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
