dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
