69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
