the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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