someone get that fucking seahorse.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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