Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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