OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize