Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize