oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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