Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
