We named our party play list daddy issues
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
