It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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