whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
