none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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