I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize