YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
