So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize