honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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