Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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