worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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