Dual....:-)
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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