The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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