Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
