I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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