I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
