Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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