Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
