I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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