nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
