SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
