yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
