My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize