What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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