What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
